“you should visit the living more vs visiting them when they are gone”
10 days and 1 year ago… I lost my Lola Emma (Grandma)
This time last year I was on a flight home to surprise my family
My wedding was the first grandchildren’s wedding Lola never got to attend but I knew given that I chose to get married overseas because I have lived overseas for the past decade it was always going to be a struggle to have her physically be present at my wedding.
However, as you can see from these photos my dad Fin Williams honoured my Dear Lola in his speech to me which warmed my heart and there was no way I could hold back the tears because she did mean the world to me.
I struggled for 5 days when I got the news of her death deciding to go home or to stay…
I had always said to myself when I moved overseas in 2010… that Lola will call me home as she was in her 90’s. When I returned to Australia in 2016 Lola was 100 years old.
(2015 the last photo of Mom/Lola/Me)
Tony wanted to visit Canada but I said don’t worry … we will be called home for a reason soon…
Lola called me home 3 months before my wedding so it was a big decision to make, to spend the money to travel home to be with family. I could have waited and seen most of them at my wedding in March… which went through my mind a lot.
Mom said to stay in Australia. Lola is gone now…
Mom had a saying “you should visit the living more vs visiting them when they are gone.” Which I understood what she meant. Which is why I didn’t listen to her and got on a plane to fly home.
It wasn’t just about saying goodbye to Lola…yes she called me home.
But ultimately…It was going home to be with my mom. To visit the living who had just lost her mom and I wanted to hold my mom’s hand as she said goodbye to her mom.
So, in the end, I did listen to my mom’s advice… just not how she thought. I knew my mother would never ask me to be there… she is too selfless to ask for her daughter to come home.
It’s a massive sacrifice you have to make when you move aboard as you tear your heart into 2 places… the place you were born and the family you leave behind and the place you live and the family you create there.
There become moments when you have to make a call to be there with your family no matter the financial cost. And last year I decided to say YES to being with my family.
Now looking back… Lola called me home for so much more than I could have never imagined.
Covid-19 stopped so many things this past year and not having my relatives be part of my happy day was hard but in the end, I am so grateful I had said yes 3 months prior to being with them on the saddest day.
I know that Lola was with me in spirit walking next to me down the aisle with mom holding my hand.
This year death has been constantly on our minds as the news reports it daily like soccer scores. I wanted to share this personal story with you all because I believe more than ever we need to start appreciating the TIME we have together when we do have it.The freedom of time together has been taken away from us a lot this year… in some places around the world more than most.
It is in the celebration of birth, marriage and death that we have truly felt the impact of how gathering together is so important to the human experience.
Always remember to dig deep within your heart and listen to what it is telling you when asked to be with loved ones. As there is never enough time to be with the people you love.
Miss you always Lola Emma