After Tony proposed to me on July 23rd in Bali…I was very fortunate to return back to Bali and work with Caryn teaching yoga at the Soul Glow Retreat
On the retreat, I opened up to the women who came how I wanted to embrace these next few months honouring my life as Kimberley Williams before stepping into some new shoes as Mrs H.
During the Soul Glow Retreat, we visited The Holy Springs of Tirta Empul which was a powerful experience and hard to describe. The last fountain was intense as I started to tear up with love and joy for my future life with Tony. This was a very special part of the whole Retreat to me.
To just declare our love for one another but Tony wanted to create a special moment for me by proposing. If you haven’t seen his proposal it was pretty EPIC!
My mind was consumed sometimes for wanting it to happen… I didn’t really realize what kind of shift I was really requesting for as I was so focused in the future.
I would no longer be known as Ms or Miss but Mrs
I would no longer be called his girlfriend/partner but his wife
I would no longer be called Kimberley Williams but Kimberley Hajichristou
I would be changing a part of me…which I visualised so much in the future but I forgot to also just honour the person I was right then… Kim Williams.
I know nowadays some women chose not even change their maiden name.
Some men chose their wife’s name instead of keeping their own.
So I meditated on it and I felt that I was embarking on a new journey in my life and a part of my social identity would be changing and honouring the change with a new name is exactly how I wanted to do it as I have done it before.
For me, it was really exciting to be called Tony’s wife but at the same time changing surname again was a bit sad.
For those of you who don’t know… Williams is my adopted surname that I took from my father Findlay Williams.
I was born as Kimberley Hughes but had no connection to that name as I longer have a relationship with my biological father.
I wanted to honour my adoption by changing my name even though I didn’t have too…but it meant the world to me to have a man want to be my dad!
As much as it disheartens me to change from Williams…I understand that it’s just a name and the meaning behind my adopted name will NEVER change in my heart… as I become a Hajichristou.
I also knew how happy it would make Tony and his parents that I will take on their family name.
It does feel like a right of passage when you go through the mental process of letting go of one identity and becoming another.
Even though nothing really seems to change physically… it’s a mental/emotional journey you have to go through for yourself in whatever way you want…
I think this part is important to remember that we sometimes ignore nowadays as we brush aside the importance of marriage. We say it’s just paperwork…but realistically it an identity shift and with that shift, some people find it harder than others.
Some men/women get cold feet because they aren’t ready for the shift…
Some couples get divorced after a few days, weeks or months because they realise it wasn’t right…
For me, I LOVED the process and I just took TIME for myself to truly drop into this shift. I create a NEW question in my daily journaling.
“What is one thing that makes you happy or excited about getting married?”
Here are some of my answers:
That we get to create our own space and surprise our guest on the venue
To be married and don’t have to do this planning again
That Tony is so amazing he doesn’t even realize it!
finally being married to him
Tony seeing me in my Dress!
The venue is going to be epic
Saying our vows and creating a video our kids can see one day
Hanging with friends
NOTE: Reading through my past journals it’s awesome to remember all those feelings again and the work I did to really honour myself and the commitment I wanted for myself and us.
Let me know in the comments below what you did to honour your transition into marriage?
More to come as I have created a #WeddingSeries