How I Navigate Through So Many Mixed Emotions

JUST LIKE YOU…THE WORLD… EVERYONE… I am feeling blue. I didn’t intentionally put this blue sweater on today, but subconsciously I must have.

I thought I’d share this with all of you as I feel lots of people are going through various emotions daily just like me, and it’s hard to know how to navigate through emotions by yourself.

WHERE TO START WITH YOUR MIXED EMOTIONS

 Acknowledge your surroundings;

For starter, I am a homebody… I love working from home, so staying at home doesn’t bother me… I thrive in this space!

If you are not a homebody like me and you are forced to stay at home, this is maybe why you feel the way you do right now.

Confinement or being told you have to do something when it’s not your routine to do so will be unsettling emotionally.

Create a space in your home that is for you. Get a nice cushion to sit on there are tones of options online, Ikea or Kmart!

Ask yourself how you are feeling daily?

I’m feeling low for various reasons today. Yesterday I felt great… today is a different story.

Figure out a way to find time in your day to ask yourself this question.

Best options are journaling or meditating… I do both.

For example, my experience today:

In my meditation this morning, which was only 9 minutes long, I 😢had some tears. I’ve been ignoring deep emotions for the past few months as I have been trying to just get through it all. When you have something like a wedding on your To-Do List you’ve got to keep going.

 “as Dory the fish would say, 🎵just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming!🎵”

Today I decided to stopped swimming and sat and allowed myself to feel all the emotional pains, hurts, the disappointment I have been feeling, and it honestly sucks.

A part of me has been feeling so grateful, in love, happy, lucky to have gotten even to celebrate my wedding during COVID-19 but exactly the same time I have been feeling so many other feelings like I listed above.

Under the circumstances weddings are generally known to create a lot of emotional issues with a global pandemic interfere with it, will create even more uneasiness.

So today was all about giving myself permission to feel all of these mixed emotions passing through my body for months and months. Even I will admit to not fully allow myself to feel my emotions, which isn’t healthy. But through the past few months, I have always kept up with my yoga practice which has always helped me release some emotions trapped inside my body.

I can honestly admit that what I really needed these past few weeks was a break from my physical asana practice. My body needed to rest as I have been pushing myself mentally and physically my body was absorbing all the mixed emotions.

Meditation and stillness have been fundamental to my practice these past few weeks.

Temporarily closing down the Yoga Tent has given me time to reflect and while I am still in reflection it has impacted my own yoga practice.

 Part of my yoga practice has been to do it with others and not solo. Having the studio empty feels weird and a part of me doesn’t feel like doing yoga on my own in the Yoga Tent right now. Seems weird to admit but that is what I discovered today. 

DEVELOP SELF AWARENESS

Through the years, I have developed an acute awareness of my emotions being oversensitive. By being teased of this, as a child, I learned how to use my sensitivity to my advantage.

I became more observant vs reactive when my feelings would bubble up.

I have learnt how to get myself out of any bad mood I feel by using my self-care tool kit 

But with these developments, I now have to be mindful to allow myself to feel horrible feelings and not ignore them or just get over them so quickly, because I know how to get myself out of a mood. Navigating through your sense of self and all the emotions that run through your mind is like running through a minefield. Impossible to see all the mine planted inside you just waiting to explode if you step on one.

These have been ESSENTIAL to my Self Develop:

JOURNALLING
I have a daily journal and have done so my whole life. I express so much through writing, which has always helped me understand my feelings. Which ones were important and which ones maybe weren’t, and I was just over-reacting.

COUNSELLING
I really had so many breakthroughs when I went to counselling and finally opened up about my abusive father after never speaking about it for 10 years. I learnt so much about my own conditioning. I had a brilliant counsellor in Melbourne that helped me through the trauma I felt from my experience of living in domestic abuse as a child. I saw him for over a year, and I still use his advice in my life. I hope to share more on my experience in another blog one day.

YOGA
I discovered the POWER of having a daily yoga practice meaning physical asana and meditation, which has kept my development of self-awareness growing to new and higher levels every year. When I found yoga I finally met my self… and all the different layers of who Kim is!

LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE
I have surrounded myself with like-minded people that nourish, support, love, and help me grow into this person I am always thriving to be.

Finding your tribe can be hard. But what’s even harder is letting go of friendships or distancing yourself from family members that affect you.

TRUST YOURSELF!
… you know what’s best for you!

Creating Self-Awareness is a journey, so don’t overthink or compare my experience to yours. My journey through self-awareness has been long, and it’s still on-going. So take comfort I also start at the beginning, and so can you.

SELF PERMISSION

Understanding that you need to give yourself TIME!

TIME OUT each and every DAY!

With self-awareness helping me in so many ways, it also sometimes stops me from feeling things fully. With every new development that helps you grow in one way can also set you back in another.

So when I discovered meditation, I knew that this was VITAL to my self-care routine. It allows me to explore those deep-rooted feelings I sometimes push past during the day when I’m just trying to get through the day to day grind. I think we can all relate to doing this quite often.

So today I sat in my meditation I gave myself permission to allow myself to release all the emotions I have been holding on to during this time and before the wedding and after the event.

  • It’s okay to feel sad
  • It’s okay to feel hurt
  • It’s okay to feel disappointed
  • It’s okay to feel pissed off
All these emotions passed through me, which was a lot to feel hence me feeling blue as I allowed myself to have a big emotional release.
When you have big projects or dealing with new situations (social distancing), we sometimes do our best to get on with things or let things go, but deep down, we don’t. We store it in our bodies. Another reason why yoga asana (physical) practice is so important and goes hand in hand with meditation as it helps moves out those feels we store in our bodies.

So if you are feeling like you are holding on to emotions and not letting them go because you are making excuses like;

“Trying to be strong.”

“Just gotta keep going.”

“I don’t have time.”

Start to think about the excuses you make inside your mind write them down. By noticing your reasons is how you develop better self-awareness so you can, later on, catch yourself when you hear yourself saying these excuses in your mind.

Give yourself permission to sit and be still even for 5-10 minutes especially if you know you are going through a lot at the moment.

Let’s be honest we all going through a lot, so it doesn’t hurt any of us to go deeper to what is really going on internally deep inside ourselves. Let’s stop making excuses and use this time wisely.

BIG RELEASING

It’s incredible what kind of release you feel afterwards.

After a big cry, you emotional feel tired and drained and don’t want to do anything. That is because your body has finally released a lot of emotions that have been stored up inside.

Our society for years has been making us feel like we shouldn’t cry as it shows weakness, but it is so essential to our being. It is essential for us to have a better understanding of our self. We are moving past this slowly in our society but it is us to keep talking about self-care and making it a priority. I would love to see our world make self-care the norm.

Having A Big Emotional Release… will make you feel;

  • more tired
  • happy
  • a new discovery of self
  • finally letting go
  • like you are still holding on and need more time

But remember when you are in meditation, to give yourself permission to feel without restrictions or justifications or judgement it is vital to moving forward into a more clear and focused mind.

Always know that when coming out of a releasing meditation if that is what you have experienced to be gentle with yourself.

Discover my self-care tool kit in the next blog post so that you know how to feel supported and not drained, even though you might also feel drained no matter what.


Categories: Well Being, WELLNESS

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