Body Image…my process to access vs judge and how I feel

 

I have wanted for some time to talk about the BODY… Body image, How we feel in the body so this topic might pop up a lot this month. I thought the best way to talk about the body is sharing my own experience with my own body.

Now it’s important to note that how you feel about your body has a lot of elements…

How does the mind feel about the body? (mentally…past feelings about the body can affect how you feel today about your body)

How does your soul/emotions feel about the body? (do you hate how your body feels or do you feel sexy?)

How does the body feel? (strong, light, weak or heavy?)

All these things come into play… and your BODY is a big living organism… you have your skin, hair, organs, bones, muscles, eyes, boobs, teeth, butt, legs and more that also can be judged and criticized when we talk about our bodies…

So where do you even start with this topic….when there are too many elements…

Just like most people, I think about my body image…

  • I don’t think I am fat… but I do think I gain weight for my body which is fat… but I don’t think of myself as a fat person. Which is important to clarify as I think we can judge a little weight gain in our society as all of a sudden being “I’m fat.”
  • I feel like I have a very healthy relationship with my body image because I don’t care if I do gain weight because I know in the end… my weight gain is a result of my own doing.
  • I am very easy-going with my weight… and I have been like this throughout my life.
  • I also have sense of self so I do not hate on my conscious decision making. Because I practice living a conscious-lifestyle which includes accepting all my eat and drinking habits whether good or poor.
  • I also am aware that regardless of weight I have on or off… I LOVE MY BODY including my stretch marks…because they are unique to me… not always beautiful to see in the mirror at first but I still think to myself… it’s part of my body, and I can’t change it so accept it, love it, and all will be well. No point in hating it.

PROCESS:

Today for some reason I decided to jump on the scale… maybe it was trigger when someone said that I looked like I lost weight but they had not seen me in a while…I felt just before seeing that person that I had put on weight as I could feel my leggings stabbing me in the side of my waist as I biked to class.

SCALE
I woke up and took out the scale and I weigh myself 63.7 kg that number means nothing to me for two reasons… I grew up weighing myself in pounds so I had to convert it and it equals 140 pounds… which in my mind when I saw the conversion was like… that’s heavy for me.

My lowest weight was 125 pounds/57kg now I remember when I moved to Perth over two years ago now, and I weigh that, and I felt fabulous as I just moved here from LA…just finished Yoga Training and was keen to start my new life.

Now after time and going up and down in my weigh…over the past few years… and I don’t allow a weighing scale to judge me my weight because I know that there are other factors at play…

MIRROR
So I went to my mirror because it is a better reflection as I am also a visual person… I know my weight will jump up in down throughout the day just like the appearance of my belly as it is a usually flat first thing in the morning. I thought by sharing a selfie would help you see what I am describing…be vulnerable as it’s the way through to overcome insecurities and shame.
JOURNAL
Then today I journaled, and that is where I checked in with how I feel in my body. And then I thought it might be important to share all of this with you.

My journal entry:

“Today I woke up and weighed myself…. and I am 63.7 kg/140 pounds. I feel like 63.7 does reflect my body because I am very strong in my body and have built a lot of muscle in the past few years though it might not be revealed right away internally in my body I feel strong when I do my vinyasa flow. I can hold poses so much longer and can control my breath. I do feel like my tummy is more prominent, so today I am just wearing bagging pants. I don’t feel sorry about my body appearance because truthfully I am fully aware of all the food I intake…which I have eaten a lot of chocolate, chips and ice cream but also consciously eat a healthy plant-based diet as well. I do want to do more swimming as once a week isn’t enough for my body to feel strong and sable. With practising yoga less… I want to keep my body moving, and in the water, it feels good because I can also connect with my breath and my speed which I don’t get to use a lot in my yoga practice. ”


REFLECTION

So after reflecting my body weight physically with a number, visually in the mirror, and mentally and emotionally…. I realised I knew all along that I just wanted to encourage myself to do more physical training on my body… I have been thinking about it and started doing it already but I think by stepping on the scales was just a way to motivate me to get my butt in gear and to also be more creative in my cooking and meal planning for snacks around the house for me.

Now… being a yogi… and training myself to have a lot of self-awareness… this isn’t everyone’s way of thinking about their body or weight…but I am sharing this with you because before you judge yourself on a number on the scale… check in with the other elements of yourself… MIND, BODY, SPIRIT before deciding what on how you feel about the number.

Then check in with what you want to do about knowing that number… ask yourself why did you even get on the scale… was it for motivation or reassurance or to make yourself feel bad…. because sometimes we do that and we don’t even realise that is what we are doing.

Go a little bit deeper into things before instantly judging them.

Most importantly… to always come back to a place of self-love when understanding the body in all its ways. We only have one body and it keeps us together so love it always.

 

 

Walk through video .. UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL… with my body

IMG_2950 from Kimberley on Vimeo.

 

Kim x


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